The Lodger and Us

The summer break is going fast. It's not summer holidays , as in The Lodgers world a holiday is where you pack a suitcase and go somewhere, so it's summer break in this house.  Infact, it's summer break in the new house, our new home.  So realistically, lots of suitcases were packed and boxes.... so many boxes.  But we are here, having made the huge decision to move across the country, we are slowly unpacking boxes as we settle into our new home. We have been full-time residents in the west of Ireland for a little over a month now. It's been busy, hence the lack of updates on The Lodger and Us. Usually, when we go quiet, we are facing a challenge and you might be expecting me to write about the challenges the Lodger has faced with the epic change that is moving house. I can, hand on heart, declare that The Lodger has settled into his new home without a hiccup. He spends his time walking around telling us how much he loves this house, our new house. He's happy. ...

It's meant to be one of the best days of your life. It's meant to be full of joy and amazement. It's meant to be filled with well wishes and time stopping moments as you just marvel at how incredible your tiny baby is. It wasn't like that for us. Not at the start.  We had one carefree hour with The Lodger before everything turned horribly wrong and we were left feeling empty and confused, angry, guilty and sad. Terribly sad. The second time I met The Lodger  he was hooked up to wires, in a room with twenty incubators with tiny little babies all fighting their own battles. Beep.... beep... beep... beep beep beep. It didn't take us long to understand tubing, wires, machine sounds, hospital routines and hushed conversations. The frustration of trying to change a nappy with wires attached to his feet and chest. The feeling of inadequacy as you try to feed him 10mls of his bottle that he just won't take, as you manipulate his jaw to suck and wish you had...