The Last Last Day

Just the other day myself, The Lodger and his Auntie were having lunch when he threw out a question that had his Auntie nearly spraying her cup of tea around the room.

"Is Papa going to die tomorrow?" The Lodger innocently asked. 

"What, of course not, why do you think that?" I replied.

"Well, Papa said he'd be an old man tomorrow and it's his last day!"

FYI Papa is retiring.

It reminded me of the show Dinosaurs, were on Hurling Day the son-in-law hurled his mother in law off the cliff and the grandson really didn't like the idea of it! I've a feeling it's a show The Lodger would enjoy! 

Dinosaurs

I reassured The Lodger, explaining retirement and all was well... or so I thought. 

Later that day, we were travelling across the country homeward bound and I got the grilling, I should've known to expect. 

"Mum,  you said that Mother (his great-grandmother) died because she was old"

Me: "Yes I did say that but I should have said extremely old."

 "Mum, Does that mean you die when you're extremely sick too because you said Mother was old and sick?"

Me "Yes."

I can see his thinking face in the rearview mirror.

"Mum, what about Keith?"

"O Keith died because of an accident. He got knocked over by a car."

For those not in the know, Keith is his grandparents' cat. 

"My old principal retired and he isn't dead."

"Exactly, he just retired. It was his last day of work. Just like how Papa will have a last day of work"

The Lodger, "Yes, not a last last day."

"Exactly."

Death is a hard thing to explain to anybody, let alone a child who questions everything. 
The Lodger's great-grandmother died earlier this year. He was very close to her and we really didn't know how he would take the sad news, how he'd process it and how he'd try to understand it.

Smiles for Mother

We'd often visit Mother at the weekend, always at a snack time, so she could give The Lodger something. Mother, although over 90 years, was as sharp as a pin and knew that the sweets she gave to the other great-grand-kids, weren't for The Lodger but she always wanted to be able to give him something. Myself and my mum used to sneak The Lodgers snack into her drawer and Mother would pass it to him. A covert mission we had down to a T. 

One day, for whatever reason, I handed The Lodger's snack directly to him. 
"Mum, what are you doing? You've got to sneak that into Mothers drawer so she can give it to me." He whispered so Mother couldn't hear.

All that time, we thought The Lodger was oblivious to the fact that we snuck it in but all the time, he used to go along with the charade. He'd be so grateful to Mother, giving her a huge hug and thanking her for always having something for his special tummy and Mother would be delighted that she could treat him exactly the same as the others. Mother, always so kind and caring and is still greatly missed by us all.

Reading time with Mother

For a long time after Mothers funeral, it was the Lodgers theme of play. I think it definitely helped him process it. He'd have all the Playmobil figurines going to a funeral and inevitably one of them in a box. He sang a lovely song the other day all about Holy Mother in heaven. "Mum, everyone in school was singing for Mother."
The great thing about The Lodgers unbelievable memory is that he doesn't forget. I've a feeling he'll be retelling Mother stories for a long time to come, even if at her funeral he was eying up who'd be in the box next. 

One day recently, we were driving somewhere with the radio on. I was only half listening when The Lodger pipes up.
"Mum, you need to ring that man on the radio and tell him what to do when your cat dies. He said you put it in the bin. You definitely don't do that, you have a funeral. You get a box and we say nice things and we say goodbye. That's what happened for Keith"

I was also instructed that that's what I had to do for the little spider corpse he found on the floor. 

I find The Lodgers brain and way of thinking fascinating. He really must've been wondering why we were so focused on buying Papa a present, as he declared this morning after Papas retirement party.....
"Mum, it's great Papa can use his present we got him. His last day of work and not his last last day."

The Lodger, delightfully questioning the world around him. 

The Lodger and Papa See-Saw!